Heifers, Weather & Correct Lyrics to Bill Bailey
by Llyzbeth
Summary: A conversation between Sam and CJ, a missing scene in "Guns Not Butter"


Much much thanks to my twin Kathryn, Beta Extraordinaire.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to "West Wing". More's the pity.  
  
Spoilers: A whole bunch for "Guns Not Butter"  
  
Feedback: Shamelessly begged for.  
  
Summary: This is for anybody who thinks Will Bailey is alright, but still misses Sam a lot. (And for anybody who didn't really believe it was Josh and Toby's idea.)  
  
  
  
Heifers and Weather and the Correct Lyrics to "Bill Bailey"  
  
  
  
Early afternoon at the White House, normal Wednesday chaos everywhere.  
  
CJ breezes into her office, closing the door and sitting down in her chair with a thump.  
  
She starts organizing the various papers that she's been hauling around, but her eyes keep straying towards the phone. After a moment she stops shuffling and takes a deep breath.  
  
The familiar office noises come very faintly through the closed door.  
  
Suddenly, she grabs the receiver and punches numbers into it quickly, as if she's afraid she'll lose her nerve.  
  
She hears the phone ring once, and a familiar voice answers.  
  
"Yello,"  
  
"Hey, Sam..it's me."  
  
"CJ? Well hi, how's things on your end of the country?"  
  
"Oh, fine, fine..I have to set up a photo shoot with the president and a farm animal."  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
"Heifer International. They want a photo shoot."  
  
"They want a picture of the president with a cow?"  
  
"Goat, actually."  
  
Long pause. "And yet I thought you said it was for.."  
  
"Yeah, so did I. Goats aren't heifers, are they?"  
  
"Ah, no, I don't think so, but you're probably asking the wrong person."  
  
"Hello? Hello?" Bangs the phone on the table. "I'm sorry, something wrong with the connection, I thought you just said there's something you DON'T have encyclopedic amounts of information on."  
  
"Shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. And, I have not the slightest idea what you're implying."  
  
"What's the weather like out there Spanky?"  
  
"About 76 degrees currently, winds out of the east, humidity at 40 percent with a 35 percent chance of rain for later this..wait. That was a trick, wasn't it."  
  
"I miss you, Sam."  
  
Short pause, but not an uncomfortable one. "I miss you too, CJ."  
  
A shared silence, CJ is smiling into the phone and thinking about what to say next when Sam quietly asks "How's Will fitting in?"  
  
CJ laughs, not very happily. "You mean Will Bailey, as in 'Won't You Go Home' Will Bailey?"  
  
"I think that's 'Come Home' isn't.."  
  
"I know what the line is Spanky, and I like my version better."  
  
"I guess I can understand that, but I hope you're not being too hard on him."  
  
"Me? Why should I be hard on poor little Will, it's not his fault you're in California instead of DC right now, is it?"  
  
"Weeelllll,"  
  
"And it's not like he's usurping your job here, right? It's not like he's insinuating himself right into your office, I mean your chair isn't even COLD yet for crying out loud.."  
  
"He really isn't, you know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Taking over my job."  
  
"Coulda fooled me."  
  
"No, I'm serious.."  
  
Sigh. "I know you are, Sam, but it's easier to be mad at him than be mad at you."  
  
Pause. "I never wanted you to be mad at me, CJ."  
  
"I should hope not. I'm quite formidable when I'm mad."  
  
"You're quite formidable when you're not mad too."  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
Another pause. "I didn't think it would be this hard. You know. Being away."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I might not win, you know."  
  
"Yeah. But you might."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
CJ fiddles with the pen on her desk. "Sure would've been a lot easier if we'd done all this before you left."  
  
"I guess I couldn't admit there even was an 'all this' to do until I'd gone."  
  
"Me neither."  
  
"You coming out here with the president for the thing next week?"  
  
"Far as I know. Unless the good people in San Diego have a thing against goats."  
  
"Nah, they're pretty laid back."  
  
"'Kay."  
  
"You think you'll have time to swing by Orange County while you're here?"  
  
"Sure." Smiling now, audibly.  
  
"And we can figure out some of, you know, 'all this'?"  
  
"Yeah. I'd like that."  
  
"Me too." Pause. "And go easy on Will. But..don't go TOO easy on him."  
  
"No problems there."  
  
"See you next week."  
  
"Yeah. Take care."  
  
She hangs up, and leans back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. At first she just looks thoughtful. Gradually, a smile appears.  
  
A not entirely innocent smile.  
  
She calls out the door. "Carol! Call building maintenance, tell them I've got an office for the goat.." 


End file.
